hallelujah not here to bore you

Itadakimasu!

Or, I will humbly recieve, or, to many foreigners struggling with the Japanese language, the helpful mnemonic that makes up the name of this category. "Itadakimasu!" is what you utter as you clasp your hands together, not in prayer but in thanks to god or mum or dad or whomever you're grateful to (and who will of course become a god eventually anyway, some set amount of years after their passing. )

"Eat it up you must" is funny but misleading since, little fishies aside, Japanese food is generally nothing short of wonderful. Here are some of the dishes my mouth has had the pleasure of encountering over the past couple of months:

It's April and that can only mean one thing: cherry blossoms! Celebrate by tucking into a delicious sakuramuchi, a pink scented sticky rice ball filled with sweet red bean paste (anko) and wrapped in a cherry leaf. It sounds weird but it is very heaven.

My takenoko (bamboo shot) rice brings all the boys to the yard and it's totally better than yours.

As are my steamin' hot breakfasts when I finally cook them.

Sometimes you can't help miss what you left though, so it was with not inconsiderable pride that I managed to conjure...

...sweet succulent tomato salad, crispy spicy steak, and most importantly, creamy garlicky tzatziki. It's like Bulgaria in my mouth and only I'm invited!

But then, when you're aided by inspirational cookware like this, what can't you do? (Click to enlarge.)

I also sampled the tasty, but ultimately not sufficiently unhealthy, Japanese interpretation of Danish cake classics like (clockwise from bottom) Kartoffelkage, Napoleonshat and Hindbærsnitte (the last two were never Danish to start off with. Good though).

But nothing really comes close to the pleasures offered by no-cooking cooking. And Japan does that better than anyone. Sashimi. Cut bodies. Sounds gross but really, life is gross. Embrace it. Gross and delicious.

Thank you mum and thank you dad. Thank you thank you thank you.

Hare Currishna

I apologise for the utter lameness of the title. On the topic of Hare Krishnas and curry, all I could come up with was that or "Govindaloo", which I hope you will agree is even worse. And I don't want to offend the Krishnas. Indeed I want to thank them for the many blessings and rays of light they have provided in my life:

- Their local Copenhagen radio show, always but always hosted by the same guy, whose name I have falsely believed (since 1996) to be Jerry Nanandas, but who is actually called Yadunandan das. The show offers twin delights:

- Bliss, a godawful band whose longwinded journey of discovery on how to use a keyboard (not to mention sing in tune) has been rigorously documented on the airwaves, but alas nowhere else (the band is so obscure that hours of searching online has yielded nothing. There is another band of the same name but their music is far too pleasant for them to have any connection whatsoever).

- A seemingly endless supply of long and involved lectures by a selection of (for some reason always American) Krishnas explaining why vegetarians cannot eat strawberries because of cross-pollination with fish eyes, or something.

- Most of all, however, I love the Krishnas for their free curry, which they kindly distribute outside SOAS every weekday around 1. The curry is good and plentiful, and sometimes you get cake, an apple or even a ginger beer thrown in too.

However, a rumour has been circulating. According to some, the Krishnas, due to their strict belief in copulation-only-for-procreation, deliberately cook the curries using foods that dull your libido. And it certainly is true, the curries are generally pretty tame - no chili or garlic in there, and certainly none of those evil 'fishy' strawberries. Fishy? More like horny as hell! I'm onto you Krishnas! You don't really believe in all this cross-pollination stuff. You just don't want us to have any fun.   

Which is why I have to deny you the honour of Best Cheap Vegetarian Curry in North London. That accolade goes to Indian Veg on Chapel Market, Angel. Sure, the place boasts a delicious-nutritious £2.95 all you can eat buffet, but more importantly, it boasts this sign:

I don't know who does their advertising but if they haven't been snapped up by the snazziest ad agency in town by now it'd be a crying waste of what is clearly a marketing genius.

Finally, while researching this, I discovered that there is an actual living person named Krishna Curry. How cool is that? My advice is that the orange ones should start sponsoring her, although they probably need to get her soon before she makes good on her threat to major in biology.