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Genuine reason for not posting. My Mac is in hospital. This is mainly sad not because of my files (I finally am grown up enough to have backed up most of my stuff) but because tonight sees a THREE HOUR LIVE SPECIAL with SMAP. Three hours of Shingo and Kusanagi in each other's presence. Live. And I can neither tape nor watch it. Tragedy.
Been superbusy, yada yada. Have still been watching the SMAP, but no time to discourse. No worries, all is saved on DVD, one day, maybe, there will be time.
But this must be covered, right here, right now.
In the last few months, a theory has developed in my mind. I believe Shingo loves Kusanagi. Like, truly, truly loves Kusanagi. And the other way round.
Why? Well, mainly because he bloody said "I love you". And because he touches Kusanagi's bottom. Repeatedly. He did this on a show for which my recorder SADLY FAILED, "SanmaSMAP" (Sanma-san being, sad as I am to admit this, kind of Japan's Steve Coogan. He is a little older, sure, but he kinda looks like him and has the same, erm, "turbulent" love life, dating lots of younger women etc. Mainly have this from TV news and it's hard to find this stuff online, but just check what pictures come up when you search on HIS name only.)
Also called "Kokoro ni nokoru meigen" (= "Wise words that stay in the heart"), this show featured the best quotes of SMAP-members, all presented with their heads superimposed on that classic painting of Beethoven and their wise words written in pretty calligraphy. Oh, and Jupiter playing in the background, like it is to everything in this country. The soundtrack of everything vaguely inspirational. The awesome Jeff made some cool lyrics to it, and once he gets his arse around to recording it, I will post it here.
Basically the heartbreaking story can be seen below (first 7 minutes) on this not very reliable site for as long as it is available. (Tried my best to rip this shit, to no avail alas, anyone know of something other than Download Helper that might be better?)
So Shingo and Kusanagi go drinking. Kusanagi asks Shingo if he loves him, I mean really loves him. Shingo says he does, isn't it obvious? This is all on primetime Japanese Christmas TV. (I know in theory 好きだ ("suki da") means "I like you," but it really means "I love you." It's what the cute boys say to the girls they fancy in all the popular dramas, whilst looking at the floor and trying so hard to combat their inherent Japanese shyness. And what Shingo said to Kusanagi while both were highly inebriated.
But Kusanagi still is not convinced. And what are the next words out of his mouth? "If you really love me, hit me."
And then? "If you won't hit me, I'll hit you. Shingo, I LOVE YOU! POW!"
It's straight out of Brokeback Mountain this. Not because it's gay, because its violently gay. Or a Crystals song. Something from the 60s, anyhow.
Cut to a magazine article and a Kusanagi quote: "Of everyone on this planet, Shingo is the one who understands me the most."
The real killer though is Kusanagi's attempt to male-bond the whole thing and asking after the clip: "Guys, you get that, right?" And stupid annoying and ridic pompous Kimutaku slowly turning his annoying head with his annoying mouth open and a look of disgust. WTF is his problem? But yeah, I don't think most guys DO get that either.
And just after that, just after Kusanagi trying to normalise it all, Shingo jumps straight in and destroys any pretense. He continues how they were ACTUALLY not in the street but in the VERY NARROW BACKSEAT of their manager's car when all the mutual hitting ensued. And Kusanagi's uncomfortable expression all through, and his final desperate attempt to get Shingo to realise he needs to shut up: "This is live, right?" And then, specifically to Shingo: "This is live!" And you know Shingo isn't too clever and you know Kusanagi knows and you see him struggling to tell Shingo in even plainer terms.
Kusanagi's final defence of his actions? "Like, we are almost the same age." Oh right because of course men THE SAME AGE always go around touching each other's bottoms.
Oh man, this is sounding kind of catty. It is anything but. I am so thrilled about this, the greatest love story of our time, probably.
The saddest, and at the same time most pathos-filled moment was how
Kusanagi even failed to score high enough points to get the stupid "Wise
words gold medal" or whatever that Kimutaku and Nakai both won. AND the
TOILET PAPER on which they printed Kusanagi's words of love. I mean,
society, come on! Let there be love where it is so clearly overflowing.
And even if it isn't there, I'll continue to look for signs. Like now, every time they hit each other it's like, they HIT each other, nudge nudge wink wink. And every time Shingo touches Kusanagi's bum, it takes on a whole new meaning.
Also, just to keep it a little timely, what's the last thing you'd wanna see just before you succumb to a full body narcosis? Pretty sure this is fairly high up on the list:
